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Burger Dream

I have these events in my sleep that are dreams, but they're just burgers being compiled in my mind's eye. They always come after eating a good burger, not a great one. This is the burger you would have made for everybody had you been more brave. This is the burger I made after my Greek burger night. It came to me while I slept, so I made it the next morning with the extra bun and had it for breakfast. It was a song, an orchestra, like Hans Zimmer conducting "He's a Pirate" in my mouth. An extravagant description for an extravagant burger. Here is the recipe for two.

Ingredients (for 2 burgers)

- 2 Burger Buns, Halved (any sort will do, or you can make them from my recipe)

- 1 Head of Spinach, washed, w/ stalk trimmed to bottom of leaf.

- 6 Rashers of Streaky Bacon

- 2 Dill Pickles, sliced into eight long slices

- 1 Tomato, sliced into six slices

- 8 Spears of Asparagus, wooden ends removed

- 2 White Onions, finely sliced

- 1 tbsp Dried Oregano (or fresh if available)

- Garlic, 3 cloves crushed.

- Red wine vinegar or other vinegar

- 200 g White Button Mushrooms, sliced

- 400 g Steak Mince

- 1 Egg

- Mayonnaise

- Hot Sauce (optional)

- Rice Bran oil (grapeseed, coconut oil, something relatively flavorless)

- Salt

- Pepper


- 1 Shallow Bowl or watertight pie dish (pyrex or similar)

- 2 Frying Pans, 1 Cast Iron (preferably, but any two will be fine)

- Chopping board

- Mixing bowl


Caramelize the onions. In a frying pan on medium heat, put in 2 tablespoons of oil. Let oil heat, and put in onions. Let onions soften, while moving them about every thirty seconds.

Once softened, turn down heat, add dried oregano, garlic and a couple of lugs of vinegar, and simmer until vinegar has reduced.

Increase heat, brown onions, then add half a cup of water. Reduce water till dry and then repeat process until onions have reached desired richness, season with salt and pepper at the end. I basically do this process until everything else in the burger is ready.

Make the patties. In a mixing bowl, put your 400g of steak mince in, add one egg, about 1 tsp of salt and mix until thoroughly combined. Get stuck in with your hands! Far easier than dicking about with a wooden spoon. After this, divide mixture in two and work each half of the mixture into two patties. Thickness is dictated by the size of your burger bun- I generally try to make the patty slightly bigger than the burger bun for edge-to-edge meatiness. Salt and Pepper each side and pat it in. Leave to rest while you...

Blanch the asparagus. Is your shallow bowl, place your de-wooded asparagus stalks. Bowl the kettle, and cover the asparagus in boiling water. They'll bloom a rich green and soften for great texture in your burgers.

Sauté the mushrooms. In the second frying pan (cast iron) on a medium heat, add a tablespoon of oil, spread evenly and add sliced mushrooms, spreading evenly. Be brave, cook for a good minute or so without stirring to get good colour, then mix them around until soft. Remove from pan and set aside.

Fry your meats. In the same pan as the mushrooms were in, cook your bacon, remove and set aside. Increase the temperature to screaming hot and smokey, then add your two patties. I usually go 1 minute per side, twice per side. Rest for two minutes.

Toast your buns. While resting, toast the cut side of your buns in the juices from the meat.

Assembly is as you feel but I go like this: Bun, Meat, Aspargus, Dill Pickles, Onions, Bacon, Mayo, Mushrooms, Tomato, 2 Leaves of Spinach, Hot Sauce (or other red sauce) Bun -----> Mouth.


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